"Urban Tribes" may be a thing of the past

Back in 1994 Ethan Watters wrote a trendy book titled "Urban Tribes". I stole this passage below from www.urbantribes.net - it really does a good job at explaining the premise.

"While taking stock of his life, Watters realizes that he only has to look as far as his own social circle to see that he is not alone. Rather than settle down into traditional families, he and his friends have formed an Urban Tribe -- an intricate community of young people who live and work together in various combinations, form regular rituals, and provide the support of an extended family."

Remember, this is 1994. In any sense, the concept of Urban Tribes - people choosing not to marry but instead finding satisfaction in self fulfillment and maintaing many connections/friendships that keep life interesting was alive and thriving. The premise actually helped drive online networks like Friendster, Tribe.net , and linkedin. This trend was happening in the dot com boom.

Reading an article on PBS, their findings tend to verify Watters' premise.

The marriage rate was lower at the end of the century than ever before. The average age at first marriage, which fell to an all-time low during the baby boom, climbed to an all-time high by the close of the century.

One out of three men and more than one out of four women in their early thirties were unmarried in 1997, compared with fewer than one in ten in 1900. Still, between 80 and 90 percent of Americans got married during their lifetimes.

The graphs tell the story.



What's interesting is that over the past 3-4 years I continue to get the sense that at some point after 9/11 the idea of putting off commitment in favor of large friend groups and growing personal success has all but died. I wasn't out to get married, but I was not at all scared of doing so quickly once I found my wife. And, I start looking around and what do I see - a lot of people getting married shortly after graduating from college...I won't speak for their reasoning, but when I talk to people at work, in social circles, I am hearing more and more people seeking a long term relationship. Some say marriage, some don't...but its not the idea of "its all about me" anymore. Its about growing with someone, and sharing in the times of life together. Compared to what? Compared to doing your thing, then coming together with a bunch of friends and relaying it on, letting them experience it secondhand. Boring. I want to share the struggles, excitement, happiness, etc etc with someone else. Its called keeping it real.

Can I support this shift back to traditional values v values created through a network of friendships, despite the recent number of weddings and fellow friends/family telling me their interest in life-long companionship with one person starting sooner than they expected? Not really. I didn't write this blog starting with my perspective and looking to find sources to back it up. I just wanted to get a conversation started. Urban Tribes, perhaps true 10 years ago, looks to be on its way out. I believe a shift is happening.

On a somewhat related note... There is a really interesting article I did find in the Atlantic Monthly -- "Misfit America" by Paul Starobin (Jan/Feb 2006) . Starobin makes a really interesting point about the USA - "Having a foot in both fixed traditionalism and permissive modernism makes us (USA) still something of an outlier nation-astride both camps and at home in neither." And, he uses a really long article and cool graph below to explain. I will email an article to any interested. See graphie belowie (what's with the ie's).

Poor countries tend to cluster in the lower left quadrant of the chart, and rich ones in the upper right quadrant. And indeed, as countries become wealthier, they tend to migrate up and to the right-that is, they become less traditional morally and more individualistic. A number of Asian nations and former members of the Soviet bloc sit in the upper left quadrant; they are largely secular, but also conservative in their views of cultural change. The United States resides in the least populated quadrant: the lower right. America is not entirely alone; a few other rich, English-speaking countries hold similar values. And it appears that some Latin American and South Asian countries are modernizing without losing their traditional religious values. But the United States nonetheless occupies an unusual position: no other country is both as religious and as permissive.
Source: Modernization, Cultural Change, and Democracy, Ronald Inglehart and Christian Welzel


This would make a great powerpoint slide, Edward Tufte would approve.