Today is officially Chuck Norris day. I salute our patron of roundhouse kicks and great, rugged looks.
My friend scott reminded me that if I want steak, I don't need to go to a resteraunt or store...Instead, according to Scatty, "You will just go to a pasture. When you arrive to this pasture it will be full of perfect cuts of meat. How is this possible? Chuck Norris wanted a glass of milk straight from the source. The cow looked at him funny and roundhouse kicks are as good as butcher knives."
Below are some more great facts on Chuck Norris. courtesy chucknorrisfacts.com
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
3 comments:
One day Chuck Norris got this amazing idea of bottling his urine as an energy drink. We now know this as Red Bull.
oh god now you sound like my friend chris..please dont be that person.
When Chuck Norris jumps in the ocean, he doesn't get wet. The ocean gets Chuck.
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs just lie down.
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